during a stretch of core exercises a few weeks ago, i started telling jokes to distract my group. well i actually first started with one a friend at work had told me earlier that day. then i went through my usual jokes, and the group seemed to really enjoy them (not because they were good, but because they were a welcome distraction from the workout).
my jokes quickly ran out though, so the following week i came prepared with a list of jokes. i don’t use them every week (sometimes the workouts require counting sets which is really hard while focusing on a joke).
but i figure, why not document these? they’re all pretty pg and, well, i like them.
(today’s list is long because it’s actually two weeks worth of jokes)
what do you call a cow with a twitch?
what kind of tea is sometimes hard to swallow?
why don’t birds follow directions?
they like to wing it.
what is a sea monster’s favorite snack?
ships and dip
what award do you get for putting your phone on vibrate?
the no bell prize.
who took the frog’s car?
it was toad.
what is a parasite?
something you see in paris.
there was a prison break and i saw a midget climb up the fence. as he jumped down, he sneered at me and i thought, “well that’s a little condescending.”
what is faster, hot or cold?
hot, because you can catch a cold.
what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
what did one ocean say to the other ocean?
nothing, they just waved.
what time is it when you have to go to the dentist?
what’s the best part about living in switzerland?
not sure, but the flag is a big plus.
why can’t a bike stand on its own?
it’s two tired.
why didn’t the life guard save the hippie?
because he was too far out man.
what do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?
why did the hipster burn his tongue on the pizza?
because he ate it before it was cool.
what is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
i don’t know, and i don’t care.
dry erase boards are remarkable.
want to hear a joke about potassium?
what’s the biggest room in the world?
room for improvement.
how do you get an alien baby to sleep?
what has no legs but can do a split?